I Knew Elisa Rae Shupe (1963–2025) and She Deserved Better — Pittsburgh Lesbian Correspondents

I met Elisa Rae Shupe, known then as Jamie, here in Pittsburgh. She had moved here with her wife for trans affirming health care. We met through the local LGBTQ Community Center when I was seeking donations from veterans groups to support trans and queer youth.

Elisa ran a Reddit subforum on trans issues, I ran this blog. We had a lot in common. We talked. we shared content. We both attended LGBTQ events. I invited her and her wife to their first drag bingo — Elisa did not like the crowd, but stayed to be polite.

She was so intense and fierce and absolutist in her thinking. We did not agree on everything, but there was respect and friendship between us.

They moved to the West Coast and then Seattle I think and then Florida — I had the impression Elisa was chasing after something as many of us are. She had the means to actually do it.

She made history by forcing the government to acknowledge nonbinary identity. She challenged traditional narratives — on all sides — about military service. And she struggled with her own identity and her health.

The last time I heard from her was 2018.

I was sitting looking at my tiger’s eye rock that I bought at a flea market in Pittsburgh and it made me think of you. I have no doubt you’re still busy fixing this broken world.