My best friend Dr. John Ruffing died 17 years ago. His legacy is now a pet food pantry. — Pittsburgh Lesbian Correspondents

All week, I’ve been loading donations for The Dr. John P. Ruffing VMD Pet Food Pantry into my borrowed Land Rover that we’ve dubbed St. Gertrude or Gertie. She contains multitudes of cat food.

Now,there’s no interior light so I bought a head lamp. I added a USB port to the cigarette light — oh yes, a bona fide cigarette lighter.

But I’m not here to talk about Gertie who does truly deserve her own post. Or cat food, today.

It is John. My dear beloved friend whose life ended at 41, 17 years ago. I’ve written countless posts about him because I do not want to forget, for any of us to forget this wonderful human who walked among us.

Who was Dr. John P Ruffing VMD

John befriended me when I was 15 years old. His mom had recently moved next door. He quickly picked up on my loneliness, silently witnessing the horrors of my homelife. None of this was fixable, so he helped me to forge new paths where I was beautiful, competent, inspiring, and brave. He was the second out gay man I met. Then taught me how to live my own queer life out and authentically.